|14 years old:||I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.|
|17 years old:||Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?|
|21 years old:||What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?|
|33 years old:||*sips coffee* One wrong move and this could all go down in flames. Jesus Christ.|
teen wolf meets cards against humanity
Dylan O’Brien for Elle Magazine (October 2014)
The Maze Runner cast dancing.
There’s a mixture of fake relationship fics with a couple of marriage of convenience thrown in. This was requested by shazzaholmes. It will be added to as new fics are discovered. [22 fics]
- A Case of Identity by jkay1980 [AO3] 91k, teen - John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought.
- Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy [AO3] 30k, explicit - “You love your mother, Sherlock?” John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk. “Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”
- Covert by Megg33k [AO3] 15k, explicit - Sherlock and John go undercover at a gay bar.
- A Cure For Boredom by emmagrant01 [AO3] 81k, explicit - They’d never talked about sex in the year they’d known each other. Well, that wasn’t quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.
- A Kiss and a Cuddle Should be Sufficient by Evenlodes Friend [fanfiction.net] 7.5k, explicit -Going undercover, Sherlock and John pursue a vicious killer to a gay group sex party. Not unexpectedly, things get a little out of hand.
- Once More, With Feeling by redcarrigan [AO3] 21k, teen - To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues.
- A Bit Backwards by p.r. fox [fanfiction.net] 3k, general - Love, John muses, is sort of like a Quentin Tarantino film. Except not really.
- A Silver Sixpence by _doodle [LJ] 16k, explicit - “We need to get married,” Sherlock announced loudly as he came into the living room, waking John from his nap.
- That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts [AO3] 35k, explicit - Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody’s happy.
- The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst [AO3] 47k, teen - Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock’s faked death and return.
- Rainbow Hearts Retreat by PajamaSecrets [AO3] 11k, explicit - “It’s a same-sex couples retreat. For those experiencing troubles in their relationship. Consists of group and couples therapy as well as encouraging socialization between the couples. It’s all in their incredibly dull brochure.”
- A Contest of Wills - JanecShannon [AO3] 3.1k, teen - Mrs. Turner’s married ones decided to renew thier vows. The problem? John shares a wall with their bedroom and they are being very… enthusiastic… about the reawakening of thier passion. Sherlock decides to give them a taste of their own medicine.
- The Newlywed Game by patternofdefiance [AO3] 9k, explicit - What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it’s for a case. Of course it doesn’t stay that way.
- A Marriage of Convenience by Phuchka [AO3] 43k, explicit - You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of The Honourable Sherlock Holmes, Alpha, younger brother of the Earl of Sherrinford with Mr. John Watson, Omega, son of Mr. Howard Watson, chairman of the City Bankers Guild. (mpreg)
- Declarations of Mutual Devotion by waketosleep [AO3] 2k, teen - “We should really get married.” John stared at the red mark on his wrist. “I’m sorry, what?
- The Troubles Of Marriage Counselling by starjenni [LJ] 2.5k, teen - Sherlock and John go to marriage counselling. Hilarity and angst happen in equal measures.
- Bells Are Ringing by Basingstoke [AO3] 1.3k, teen - “Oh bloody fucking DAMN!” Sherlock shouted, apropos of nothing. John nearly dropped his tea. John turned and found Sherlock shaking his passport. “Mycroft made me French.”
- Sherlock Holmes & The Mysterious Ex by Gatergirl79 [fanfiction.net] 27k, explicit - Sherlock and John are forced to spend Christmas with Sherlock’s family. An unsettling idea especially when John will have to play ‘Boyfriend’ thanks to Mycroft. But why exactly does Sherlock want to avoid a family party?
- Disguises are always a self-portrait by yellowteapots [AO3] 6.2k, not rated - Sherlock drummed his fingers on the arm rest irritably. “We might as well get our stories straight. Homosexuals, even alleged ones, tend to be more personal than heterosexual couples. ” They were headed to a Pride Fest for a case-triple suicide/murder- which, of course mean they had to pretend to be couple.
- There’s Not A Place On Earth I’d Rather Be Than Here by EverdeenFrayPotter [AO3] 6.1k, teen - Sherlock and John go undercover as a couple to a ball, to provide suitable evidence to convict a killer. There’s dancing, and kissing, and something about a murder.
- The Pretence of an Unacknowledged Truth by stickleworting [AO3] 28k, explicit - He’s decided to just be himself, cliché as it sounds. The lie about being Sherlock’s mate will be difficult enough to keep up, he’s not going to think up more of a charade regarding himself on top of that. (no mpreg)
- John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas by earlgreytea68 [AO3] 53k, mature - It’s the holiday season. John Watson needs money. Sherlock Holmes needs something else.
This is preeeeeeeeeetty much my fave trope. So, yeah. Automatic reblog.
“He didn’t say a word, and I gave up trying, because you couldn’t hear either one of us over the shattering noise of hearts breaking and the looming shadows of the last words, the ones we refused to say.”
It kills me that the trope here is…wild girl tamed by her boyfriend. PIZZA, HE SAYS. He’s always speaking for her, or ‘translating’ for her. He’s always grooming her, or telling her what’s not acceptable and what is, when it comes to being a girl. I had a dude friend like this, who would always say these little, cutting things about the way I looked or acted or behaved, or about the things I liked. He implied if I made certain changes, he MIGHT fuck me. Like I was even his to have.
The more I see Stiles in a relationship with Malia, the less I like him. How about letting your wild coyote girlfriend be wild and like eating deer meat? Like, why not be like “Uhhhh. Maybe we could…find some ground venison at the co-op? Or at least venison jerky?? Is that ok??” but instead Stiles is always like “Oh silly woman, that’s not how you be a real girl!” And they play it off for laughs. I get that she needs help assimilating, but like. It’s all we get from their relationship, really (other than the fact that he LIES to her) and it’s really kind of gross. ughhhhhhhhhh. Gross and annoying.
Everything that I couldn’t put into words. She is more than he can tame, and he is too narrow minded.